Cleanse Week 2

Sam email to Martha

These past days I have been predominantly irritable, short tempered, impatient and hungry hungry hungry. On a deep physical level I can feel the slow gradual shedding of deeply rooted attachments to food, emotions, perceptions and old attitudes. I've experienced light headedness, shaky body, gaping holes in my core that want to be fed with something that feels like substance. I have seen certain things in the moment much more clearly than before. I struggle each day with the ability to make my food have any taste. Everything seems bland and boring and unsatisfying, even though I'm creating some interesting dishes, they just don't have any taste. Perhaps i've had more salt than I'm remotely aware of over this past year??...

I can feel deep in my body that things are clearing out, that crap is shedding from places I didn't know held things. I have been incredibly tired every day so far. Due to the luxury of working from home on my own schedule outside of Hudson's scheduled needs in the morning and after school, I have had to take a few deep naps!! I woke up today sweating with fear from one of me walking through my childhood home, sitting in the dark, noticing the door was slightly open, a storm raging outside and as I slowly turned my head I felt the presence of a looming dark figure over me. I was genuinely bloody terrified.

I hope the coming days will bring some regular eating habits and an ability to follow a simple schedule...these past several days a recurring surging anger arises in me about my situation parenting the lad. I am so furious and have buried feelings about what the boy has been put through. I've done work to deal with it but this cleanse is definitely bringing stuff up that hasn't been addressed. I wanted to vent out how this detox experience is related to rising emotions of anger, connections to food and how the mind can get all caught up in thoughts that allow one to not engage in the moment of chopping different vegetables from a desperate woman trying to make a tasty meal!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!

Much love to you and send word on how you're doing!

Over the course of the following days, I get very ill with nausea, an intense never ending headache and all energy drained. This informs me of the toxicity levels of stress and a particularly unusually large intake of alcohol over a long hard year.  The degree of pressure my husband and I have been under due to circumstances in our personal life has taken its toll on my body and spirit. I had a dedicated practice of yoga and meditation that was astoundingly helpful in the managing of raging chaos outside of our control. The change in food brought out some deep seated things I didn't realize I was still holding tightly onto. Martha proved once again to be a supportive rock while I worked through these genuinely surprising emotions that always seemed to come up when I was chopping steaming or baking something...the kitchen was my sanctuary to let them out. I reach a point where the physical discomfort is intolerable. Marie gives me a prescription of a shot of olive oil mixed with a bit of lemon and a hydrotherapy based routine to follow, alternating hot and cold towels over the liver. This causes the liver to expand and contract, wringing it out essentially. I do this for 30 minutes, take a long nap, then do the hot cold towels again later in the day and it finally eases off. 

This is where the most unpleasant part comes out of the process of cleansing. The beauty of discussing parasites. I won't get into any gory detail here but we both were given tinctures that would, if taken religiously throughout the day over at least the course of the three weeks (and beyond), would produce results in revealing that they existed. This definitely became apparent for me but not until the end of the cleanse. The parasites are stubborn invaders that take on a life of their own in the body. Martha and I both willingly embraced this information from Marie and through the experience, accepted their reality. Hence the mention of 'friends' throughout this journey of discovering all things we don't like about health but had to face up to.

Martha email to Sam

I really have been feeling pretty good other than this growing pain in my hips and lower back, which I just realized could be my kidneys and liver detoxing. I am so glad I'm not having nausea. Detox detox detox. I will try to breathe and take care of myself and keep my big mouth shut. I'm curious to hear what Marie said about your achy body and tummy. I hope you are sleeping.  I just ate a big plate of lentils and beautiful roasted vegetables and I (or my little friends) are starving!!


Sam to Martha
Thanks sweetie I'm just letting my liver release itself...! Headache and nausea remains, deep aching in hips and lower back, much insight follows. I'm going in for body work to help move things through me :)


Martha text to Sam
I have been so much better the last few days! It is really hard but I am getting through it. Its so amazing how I feel differently about everything already and its only food!! Pain is radiating in my lower back and down my legs.


Days go by with both of us in relative achy pain. It proves to be difficult for me to manage things, especially around cooking separate meals for the hungry teenager next to my clean simple quinoa...We exchange recipes and plow through it motivating eachother all the way.


Sam email to Martha
This weekend was a rollercoaster of deep tissue pain, emotional outbursts, mental clarity, insight and feeling like I was cleaner and had more space in my body. Buried emotions poured out of me through tears both Saturday and today, but I was able to let it out more easily because Hud was at his mother's for the weekend. I don't want him experiencing any more negativity than what he's been subjected to ! Saturday night pulsing throbbing pain coursed through my hips and legs and I was back doing the towel action at 4am on the lower back. I was so uncomfortable I slept in Hud's bed to not wake up Mitch. Overall, I felt a shaking up in the core. I've reflected on these hard times supporting Mitch who struggled coping with such a horrible divorce and the negative emotional damage to his children. We've worked hard not to be taken down and so much effort put into staying positive and helping Hudson as much as we can now that he's with us. The contents of what has left my body, relative to what I have put in it is absolutely astounding! I am so relieved to release it all, let it go and see the coming days as worth all the discomfort and bland flavours! Yours and Mitch's support has been so vital, feeling safe to vent out so much. Mitch is now making stuffed red peppers with quinoa (pictures to come) and he wants to deliver some to you :) 


Martha email to Sam
The emotional outbursts during this cleanse are such a crazy experience. Can you imagine why? Its just food but it is certainly rocking us to the core.