The end meal was baked red pepper stuffed with quinoa and a "spiceless" risotto of brown rice, mushrooms and red onion. A side of plain baked 'french fry style' organic yukons and sweet potatoes.
8.2.12
7.2.12
Cleanse Week 2
Sam email to Martha
These past days I have been predominantly irritable, short tempered, impatient and hungry hungry hungry. On a deep physical level I can feel the slow gradual shedding of deeply rooted attachments to food, emotions, perceptions and old attitudes. I've experienced light headedness, shaky body, gaping holes in my core that want to be fed with something that feels like substance. I have seen certain things in the moment much more clearly than before. I struggle each day with the ability to make my food have any taste. Everything seems bland and boring and unsatisfying, even though I'm creating some interesting dishes, they just don't have any taste. Perhaps i've had more salt than I'm remotely aware of over this past year??...
I can feel deep in my body that things are clearing out, that crap is shedding from places I didn't know held things. I have been incredibly tired every day so far. Due to the luxury of working from home on my own schedule outside of Hudson's scheduled needs in the morning and after school, I have had to take a few deep naps!! I woke up today sweating with fear from one of me walking through my childhood home, sitting in the dark, noticing the door was slightly open, a storm raging outside and as I slowly turned my head I felt the presence of a looming dark figure over me. I was genuinely bloody terrified.
I hope the coming days will bring some regular eating habits and an ability to follow a simple schedule...these past several days a recurring surging anger arises in me about my situation parenting the lad. I am so furious and have buried feelings about what the boy has been put through. I've done work to deal with it but this cleanse is definitely bringing stuff up that hasn't been addressed. I wanted to vent out how this detox experience is related to rising emotions of anger, connections to food and how the mind can get all caught up in thoughts that allow one to not engage in the moment of chopping different vegetables from a desperate woman trying to make a tasty meal!!! Ahhhhhhh!!!!
Much love to you and send word on how you're doing!
Over the course of the following days, I get very ill with nausea, an intense never ending headache and all energy drained. This informs me of the toxicity levels of stress and a particularly unusually large intake of alcohol over a long hard year. The degree of pressure my husband and I have been under due to circumstances in our personal life has taken its toll on my body and spirit. I had a dedicated practice of yoga and meditation that was astoundingly helpful in the managing of raging chaos outside of our control. The change in food brought out some deep seated things I didn't realize I was still holding tightly onto. Martha proved once again to be a supportive rock while I worked through these genuinely surprising emotions that always seemed to come up when I was chopping steaming or baking something...the kitchen was my sanctuary to let them out. I reach a point where the physical discomfort is intolerable. Marie gives me a prescription of a shot of olive oil mixed with a bit of lemon and a hydrotherapy based routine to follow, alternating hot and cold towels over the liver. This causes the liver to expand and contract, wringing it out essentially. I do this for 30 minutes, take a long nap, then do the hot cold towels again later in the day and it finally eases off.
This is where the most unpleasant part comes out of the process of cleansing. The beauty of discussing parasites. I won't get into any gory detail here but we both were given tinctures that would, if taken religiously throughout the day over at least the course of the three weeks (and beyond), would produce results in revealing that they existed. This definitely became apparent for me but not until the end of the cleanse. The parasites are stubborn invaders that take on a life of their own in the body. Martha and I both willingly embraced this information from Marie and through the experience, accepted their reality. Hence the mention of 'friends' throughout this journey of discovering all things we don't like about health but had to face up to.
Martha email to Sam
I really have been feeling pretty good other than this growing pain in my hips and lower back, which I just realized could be my kidneys and liver detoxing. I am so glad I'm not having nausea. Detox detox detox. I will try to breathe and take care of myself and keep my big mouth shut. I'm curious to hear what Marie said about your achy body and tummy. I hope you are sleeping. I just ate a big plate of lentils and beautiful roasted vegetables and I (or my little friends) are starving!!
Sam to Martha
Thanks sweetie I'm just letting my liver release itself...! Headache and nausea remains, deep aching in hips and lower back, much insight follows. I'm going in for body work to help move things through me :)
Martha text to Sam
I have been so much better the last few days! It is really hard but I am getting through it. Its so amazing how I feel differently about everything already and its only food!! Pain is radiating in my lower back and down my legs.
Days go by with both of us in relative achy pain. It proves to be difficult for me to manage things, especially around cooking separate meals for the hungry teenager next to my clean simple quinoa...We exchange recipes and plow through it motivating eachother all the way.
Sam email to Martha
This weekend was a rollercoaster of deep tissue pain, emotional outbursts, mental clarity, insight and feeling like I was cleaner and had more space in my body. Buried emotions poured out of me through tears both Saturday and today, but I was able to let it out more easily because Hud was at his mother's for the weekend. I don't want him experiencing any more negativity than what he's been subjected to ! Saturday night pulsing throbbing pain coursed through my hips and legs and I was back doing the towel action at 4am on the lower back. I was so uncomfortable I slept in Hud's bed to not wake up Mitch. Overall, I felt a shaking up in the core. I've reflected on these hard times supporting Mitch who struggled coping with such a horrible divorce and the negative emotional damage to his children. We've worked hard not to be taken down and so much effort put into staying positive and helping Hudson as much as we can now that he's with us. The contents of what has left my body, relative to what I have put in it is absolutely astounding! I am so relieved to release it all, let it go and see the coming days as worth all the discomfort and bland flavours! Yours and Mitch's support has been so vital, feeling safe to vent out so much. Mitch is now making stuffed red peppers with quinoa (pictures to come) and he wants to deliver some to you :)
Martha email to Sam
The emotional outbursts during this cleanse are such a crazy experience. Can you imagine why? Its just food but it is certainly rocking us to the core.
Sam to Martha
Thanks sweetie I'm just letting my liver release itself...! Headache and nausea remains, deep aching in hips and lower back, much insight follows. I'm going in for body work to help move things through me :)
Martha text to Sam
I have been so much better the last few days! It is really hard but I am getting through it. Its so amazing how I feel differently about everything already and its only food!! Pain is radiating in my lower back and down my legs.
Days go by with both of us in relative achy pain. It proves to be difficult for me to manage things, especially around cooking separate meals for the hungry teenager next to my clean simple quinoa...We exchange recipes and plow through it motivating eachother all the way.
Sam email to Martha
This weekend was a rollercoaster of deep tissue pain, emotional outbursts, mental clarity, insight and feeling like I was cleaner and had more space in my body. Buried emotions poured out of me through tears both Saturday and today, but I was able to let it out more easily because Hud was at his mother's for the weekend. I don't want him experiencing any more negativity than what he's been subjected to ! Saturday night pulsing throbbing pain coursed through my hips and legs and I was back doing the towel action at 4am on the lower back. I was so uncomfortable I slept in Hud's bed to not wake up Mitch. Overall, I felt a shaking up in the core. I've reflected on these hard times supporting Mitch who struggled coping with such a horrible divorce and the negative emotional damage to his children. We've worked hard not to be taken down and so much effort put into staying positive and helping Hudson as much as we can now that he's with us. The contents of what has left my body, relative to what I have put in it is absolutely astounding! I am so relieved to release it all, let it go and see the coming days as worth all the discomfort and bland flavours! Yours and Mitch's support has been so vital, feeling safe to vent out so much. Mitch is now making stuffed red peppers with quinoa (pictures to come) and he wants to deliver some to you :)
Martha email to Sam
The emotional outbursts during this cleanse are such a crazy experience. Can you imagine why? Its just food but it is certainly rocking us to the core.
9.1.12
First 5 Days, beginnings with pure and simple vegetable, grain, water
Cleansing Detox First Five Days
The first three days of the cleanse are a transitional phase. We focus on what we have to eat, essentially simple food in as natural a state as possible, and learn to abide by the schedule. We're allowed a few extras, maple syrup on the oats (no milk!) and a half a cup of black coffee. By day four no excuses and it's raw, steamed or baked food with absolutely no adding of anything: no salt, no lemon, no no nothing. For myself, the psychological impact weighs heavily, a lovely truth that repeats itself throughout the cleanse and reveals to me how my mind communicates to my body, how thought patterns dominate. I deeply appreciate my meditation practice going through this.
Martha and I shop around for the ideal rice cooker (a staple now in my household). After a browse in Kensington Market and various shops we make our way over to T and T, a favourite Asian grocery store in east end Toronto and pick up two cookers for $50 each that come with a steamer insert.
We're enthusiastic and encouraging towards each other. We abide by the rules for the most part, but anything that happens to cause stress, proves to be challenging to handle well. By day four, we're already showing signs of physical and emotional responses and turning to each other for support. Perhaps humorously dramatic, but shutting out the sugars, starches, caffeine and dairy for Martha and myself, was difficult, proving it all the more significant to follow through on.
Day 1 - 3
(s-e)
Those steel cut oats cooked in the rice cooker were de-licious! I splashed maple syrup on them - grounding, filling and soooo comforting oh my goodness :):):)
Martha and I shop around for the ideal rice cooker (a staple now in my household). After a browse in Kensington Market and various shops we make our way over to T and T, a favourite Asian grocery store in east end Toronto and pick up two cookers for $50 each that come with a steamer insert.
We're enthusiastic and encouraging towards each other. We abide by the rules for the most part, but anything that happens to cause stress, proves to be challenging to handle well. By day four, we're already showing signs of physical and emotional responses and turning to each other for support. Perhaps humorously dramatic, but shutting out the sugars, starches, caffeine and dairy for Martha and myself, was difficult, proving it all the more significant to follow through on.
Day 1 - 3
(s-e)
Those steel cut oats cooked in the rice cooker were de-licious! I splashed maple syrup on them - grounding, filling and soooo comforting oh my goodness :):):)
(m-e)
What's on the menu today?
(s-e)
Hmmmmm, lunch....making in the rice cooker...
(m-e)
I'm going to try that too. Last nights quinoa and lentils were pretty and had different textures
but it all turned into a very bland 'mashed potatoes'..I'm trying roasted root vegetables in the slow cooker. Did you heat everything separately first for that swiss chard wrap?
(s-e)
Oh yes, broiled the veg, steamed all else in batches with a bamboo steamer then chopped all and mixed it up. Don't forget to add raw fresh green onion, cilantro and parsely for a cold crisp mix. Slow baked onions and garlic keeps well in the fridge for later!
(s-e)
Rice cooker worked for lunch - 5 minutes to prep and chop, 30 minutes to cook rice, added veg on the attached steamer for 10, topped it with fresh cilantro and green onion. I desire sauce in a huuuuge way, was bloody starving by the time I got to eat it.
(m-e)
Very nice. I miss juicy and crisp textures. I have to eat more raw stuff, everything feels dry. I made a ton of food to eat over the next few days at work and to have ready for my end of day return. I made a rice casserole and will have squash and roasted garlic, mushrooms, onions and beets. The crock pot is full of roots. I need juicy peppers to eat with it.
(s-e)
Yes the peppers are watery and crunchy. I've been hit hard this afternoon...that's scary for this just beginning! I feel heavy and emotional all over - not surprised but going through it - ugh. Had some family things cause a shot of stress that resonates right through my lead feeling veins...glad we have each other to keep us ok!
(m-e)
Keep going sista. Remember friends are the family you choose :) I'm sure this is not just about food! I feel a bit better today because almost every hour I've had something - tea, fruit, a meal. I'm at band practice tonight and have no energy but getting out will be good. Get out for a nice walk by the water before the rain comes!
(s-e)
Being submerged in my work is a huge deterrent from immediate reaction to food changes..any chance you can see work as allowing you to focus away from the effects? Time will also fly by....Just walked and cleared the lungs, saw a bunch of happy dogs, have a great practise, singing will energise you...
(m-e)
Checking in - how are you doing? I'm feeling pretty good although I'm freezing..it was great to go to band practise, to do something fun.
(s-e)
I'm hungry as usual...roasting pears...so great that you went to practise, I am here for you if you need support in the coming days...
(m-e)
mmmmm, how was it? I had rice casserole, sweet potatoes and squash for dinner. I have to say...it was fantastic and comforting! Will eat more raw tomorrow. I feel the idea of 'snack' is to eat just one kind of food for easy digestion...eat more of those pears. 18 more days to go...that's nothing!
Day 4
Martha experiences personal challenges that hit her hard. As the effects kick in, relationships both personal and professional prove to be challenging for her. She reaches out though and is very honest about how difficult it is for her and gets the help she needs to stay strong and not bail on the disciplined routine. This is where support proved to be vital. When the emotion arises, the mind begins to take over in a way that one can easily create excuses and old habit patterns kick in strongly. By reaching out, she was able to stick with it.
(m-e)
Going to work today was really hard and I was only there 6 hours! I want to do this but man I am having some doubts about being able to stick to the schedule with my work life. I know it is an opportunity to see if I can do it and to take care of myself but I don't know right at this moment if I can. What I am holding out for is energy. I will feel that sooner or later I hope. One day at a time. It will get easier right? Its only food, right? It is only three weeks right? It is messing with my head. OK all out now, I'm going to eat...something.
(m-t)
Freaking out...so hard to deal with people today...
(s-t)
Shall we talk?
We have a long phone conversation. Martha's determination proves to be very strong as she feels a deep sense of withdrawal physically and her mind is anxious and stressed. I advise her to contact Marie to address how best to handle the overwhelming-ness of it all and to secure that she doesn't bail towards what she thinks she needs. She emails Marie...
(m-e)
Hey Marie, Sam just talked me off the ledge. I had my first day back at work and it was way harder than I thought it would be. I had a hard time dealing with people today. I am a hairdresser so this could prove to be a problem (ya think ?!). When I got home I had an intense emotional outburst. I know its ridiculous that I would need fat and salt to deal with people but I think I do. Any suggestions?
(m-e)
I just got off the phone with her, she was great and said it is my 'friends' (*sam note: clarity on this later) that don't want me to do this and I have to take control!! She asked me a ton of questions about my feeling and is making a remedy for me that would be available for pick up tomorrow (you pick up for me yes? :) She said exhaustion is good, it means its coming out, we are detoxing...(well I sure hope so) and she gave practical advice - research vegetables that are high in sodium, skip evening and morning protocol and knock back an ounce of olive oil with juice of half a lemon to cleanse the liver.
(s-e)
Fantastic, so great! Here's a picture of the wonderful saucy action for the quinoa or whatever...Mitch roasted everything first then blended it into a fake curry paste! Seriously excited about this...will text when I have your concoction to bring to your work.
Day 5
(m-e)
Thanks Sam and Marie for helping in such a meaningful timely way last night. I really had a hard time. I feel much better now. I knocked back the olive oil (and it tasted great!) and didn't feel nauseous. Yay! Today I'm going to try to squeeze more high sodium veggies into my fridge and my body and go easier on myself.
(m-e)
Here's an email I wrote to my friend Ros, I want to share it to add to our email diary.
Today was really hard. When I got home I lost it. I was so hungry so I just sat down and tried to swallow the cold quinoa, lentil, sweet potato mush I brought for lunch and gagged. I had a good cry and told Scott I couldn't do this anymore. I called Sam and she talked me down, then I called Marie and she gave me some suggestions and a good talk. What was the cause of my meltdown? Do I need pizza and ice cream to be able to deal with people? (...yes!). Am I using food as anti depressants? Am I self medicating with fat, salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol? It all makes me feel worse in the long run. I want to treat myself better. I want to treat myself as I would my cats or my child, I want to only give myself foods that are good for me. I think my body was craving fat and salt and I got it with the olive oil and lemon...man this is like methadone!
The joy of parenting the 14 year old for me arises the following day that cause adrenaline to fly in the body, my mind starts spinning...all from only clean, simple food being in my body for five simple days in a row....and that makes me want to go straight to eating something!! (and not a raw carrot). I have the luxury of working from home for the next while and appreciate Martha's having to be in close proximity of people when feeling so challenged from the detox. I tell her this and she shoots back that she doesn't have to parent a teenager let alone cook a separate meal for one every day! Small but important appreciations.
What's on the menu today?
(s-e)
Hmmmmm, lunch....making in the rice cooker...
(m-e)
I'm going to try that too. Last nights quinoa and lentils were pretty and had different textures
but it all turned into a very bland 'mashed potatoes'..I'm trying roasted root vegetables in the slow cooker. Did you heat everything separately first for that swiss chard wrap?
(s-e)
Oh yes, broiled the veg, steamed all else in batches with a bamboo steamer then chopped all and mixed it up. Don't forget to add raw fresh green onion, cilantro and parsely for a cold crisp mix. Slow baked onions and garlic keeps well in the fridge for later!
(s-e)
Rice cooker worked for lunch - 5 minutes to prep and chop, 30 minutes to cook rice, added veg on the attached steamer for 10, topped it with fresh cilantro and green onion. I desire sauce in a huuuuge way, was bloody starving by the time I got to eat it.
(m-e)
Very nice. I miss juicy and crisp textures. I have to eat more raw stuff, everything feels dry. I made a ton of food to eat over the next few days at work and to have ready for my end of day return. I made a rice casserole and will have squash and roasted garlic, mushrooms, onions and beets. The crock pot is full of roots. I need juicy peppers to eat with it.
(s-e)
Yes the peppers are watery and crunchy. I've been hit hard this afternoon...that's scary for this just beginning! I feel heavy and emotional all over - not surprised but going through it - ugh. Had some family things cause a shot of stress that resonates right through my lead feeling veins...glad we have each other to keep us ok!
(m-e)
Keep going sista. Remember friends are the family you choose :) I'm sure this is not just about food! I feel a bit better today because almost every hour I've had something - tea, fruit, a meal. I'm at band practice tonight and have no energy but getting out will be good. Get out for a nice walk by the water before the rain comes!
(s-e)
Being submerged in my work is a huge deterrent from immediate reaction to food changes..any chance you can see work as allowing you to focus away from the effects? Time will also fly by....Just walked and cleared the lungs, saw a bunch of happy dogs, have a great practise, singing will energise you...
(m-e)
Checking in - how are you doing? I'm feeling pretty good although I'm freezing..it was great to go to band practise, to do something fun.
(s-e)
I'm hungry as usual...roasting pears...so great that you went to practise, I am here for you if you need support in the coming days...
(m-e)
mmmmm, how was it? I had rice casserole, sweet potatoes and squash for dinner. I have to say...it was fantastic and comforting! Will eat more raw tomorrow. I feel the idea of 'snack' is to eat just one kind of food for easy digestion...eat more of those pears. 18 more days to go...that's nothing!
Day 4
Martha experiences personal challenges that hit her hard. As the effects kick in, relationships both personal and professional prove to be challenging for her. She reaches out though and is very honest about how difficult it is for her and gets the help she needs to stay strong and not bail on the disciplined routine. This is where support proved to be vital. When the emotion arises, the mind begins to take over in a way that one can easily create excuses and old habit patterns kick in strongly. By reaching out, she was able to stick with it.
(m-e)
Going to work today was really hard and I was only there 6 hours! I want to do this but man I am having some doubts about being able to stick to the schedule with my work life. I know it is an opportunity to see if I can do it and to take care of myself but I don't know right at this moment if I can. What I am holding out for is energy. I will feel that sooner or later I hope. One day at a time. It will get easier right? Its only food, right? It is only three weeks right? It is messing with my head. OK all out now, I'm going to eat...something.
(m-t)
Freaking out...so hard to deal with people today...
(s-t)
Shall we talk?
We have a long phone conversation. Martha's determination proves to be very strong as she feels a deep sense of withdrawal physically and her mind is anxious and stressed. I advise her to contact Marie to address how best to handle the overwhelming-ness of it all and to secure that she doesn't bail towards what she thinks she needs. She emails Marie...
(m-e)
Hey Marie, Sam just talked me off the ledge. I had my first day back at work and it was way harder than I thought it would be. I had a hard time dealing with people today. I am a hairdresser so this could prove to be a problem (ya think ?!). When I got home I had an intense emotional outburst. I know its ridiculous that I would need fat and salt to deal with people but I think I do. Any suggestions?
(m-e)
I just got off the phone with her, she was great and said it is my 'friends' (*sam note: clarity on this later) that don't want me to do this and I have to take control!! She asked me a ton of questions about my feeling and is making a remedy for me that would be available for pick up tomorrow (you pick up for me yes? :) She said exhaustion is good, it means its coming out, we are detoxing...(well I sure hope so) and she gave practical advice - research vegetables that are high in sodium, skip evening and morning protocol and knock back an ounce of olive oil with juice of half a lemon to cleanse the liver.
(s-e)
Fantastic, so great! Here's a picture of the wonderful saucy action for the quinoa or whatever...Mitch roasted everything first then blended it into a fake curry paste! Seriously excited about this...will text when I have your concoction to bring to your work.
Day 5
(m-e)
Thanks Sam and Marie for helping in such a meaningful timely way last night. I really had a hard time. I feel much better now. I knocked back the olive oil (and it tasted great!) and didn't feel nauseous. Yay! Today I'm going to try to squeeze more high sodium veggies into my fridge and my body and go easier on myself.
(m-e)
Here's an email I wrote to my friend Ros, I want to share it to add to our email diary.
Today was really hard. When I got home I lost it. I was so hungry so I just sat down and tried to swallow the cold quinoa, lentil, sweet potato mush I brought for lunch and gagged. I had a good cry and told Scott I couldn't do this anymore. I called Sam and she talked me down, then I called Marie and she gave me some suggestions and a good talk. What was the cause of my meltdown? Do I need pizza and ice cream to be able to deal with people? (...yes!). Am I using food as anti depressants? Am I self medicating with fat, salt, sugar, caffeine and alcohol? It all makes me feel worse in the long run. I want to treat myself better. I want to treat myself as I would my cats or my child, I want to only give myself foods that are good for me. I think my body was craving fat and salt and I got it with the olive oil and lemon...man this is like methadone!
The joy of parenting the 14 year old for me arises the following day that cause adrenaline to fly in the body, my mind starts spinning...all from only clean, simple food being in my body for five simple days in a row....and that makes me want to go straight to eating something!! (and not a raw carrot). I have the luxury of working from home for the next while and appreciate Martha's having to be in close proximity of people when feeling so challenged from the detox. I tell her this and she shoots back that she doesn't have to parent a teenager let alone cook a separate meal for one every day! Small but important appreciations.
8.12.11
Technology and Impermanence
I'm experiencing various technical issues with this blog spot, including all the members disappearing...impermanence in action and you get what ya pay for! Hopefully things will clear up soon.
7.12.11
Words of Yogic Wisdom, An Eve of 'Bad' Behaviour and we begin..
I write to Martha a direct cut and paste from Iyengar's 'Light On Pranayama' but change all the he's to she's, his to hers. Our dialogue reads like it needs a Lichtenstein image above of each one of them (if only I were capable of pulling that off, what fun!)
(s-e)
Through the eight stages of Yoga, the sadhaka develops understanding of her own self. She proceeds step by step from the known - her body - to the unknown. She proceeds from the outer envelope of the body - the skin - to the unknown. From the mind (manas), she goes to the intellect (buddhi) , the will (samkalpa), discriminating consciousness (viveka-khyati or prajna), conscience (sad-asad viveka) and lastly the Self (Atma).
(m-e)
Wow, too true eh? That is what we are doing - trying to connect the body with the mind. I want to aerate my body. How inspiring, thanks Sammy!
(s-t)
Tonight, I luxuriate in opening a curtain-closing bottle of white wine. Get this - I bought honey garlic frozen pc wings yesterday (?!!) in my childish response to the coming of clean health. Let the eve of our journey be toxicly joyful!
(m-t)
You said it sister. tonight i am going to party! I'm bringing wine and cake! I have been so good in the weight watchers department for a month. I need to blow it big time. If we feel like shite tomorrow maybe it will make it easier...(?). I'm also five days late and ready to kill someone..not worried just hugely premenstrual...have fun!
Next Morning, day of cleanse meeting
(m-t)
Mission accomplished. I feel like shit. bring on the detox but first...my last cup of coffeeeee.
(s-t)
same! headache sooo want to clean out and sipping my final coffee with the last of the organic cream...my favorite...
(m-t)
Here we go, meet up before we start?
(s-t)
Yes! nice hot tea at Dufflets? Queen just west of Tecumseth south side, 130?
(m-t)
heading there, see you soon
We meet at Dufflets (unbelievable that I would suggest this place full of delectable sweets, cakes and all things sugary before going into this, but close to Body One). We chat, then meet Marie in a nearby restaurant, take notes ferociously and ask a ton of questions. We're blessed to be the only ones doing the cleanse this particular fall - a partnership made to happen. Our session runs almost 2 hours, very informative and never imagined I'd have so many questions.
I follow up that evening with more notes on pranayama. My intention of sharing this information seemed like a wonderful idea, until juggling life and handling the effects of the cleanse took over and I had to stop. There's that dominant powerful Pitta dosha stirring in me (more on that in learning from Ayurveda, to come).
Cleanse Start - Day One (I will bunch the days together soon, but for now its detailed dialogue for days one two three..)
(s-t)
I am a wee screwy, I just ate roast veg and quinoa so I have to look at notes to see when/if I can take the tincture - organizing the lad with his homework, laundry, lunch etc. Have to get the schedule down to do it all earlier aaahhhhh!!
(m-t)
I had my last take out souvlaki.
The first three days of the cleanse are considered transitional. We begin to focus on food in its natural state. We are asked to think less in terms of recipes when having our meals and more towards individual foods eaten either raw or gently steamed/baked/roasted. It's time to gradually remove what we think are the 'good stuff' (coffee, salt, dairy...).
Next up, buying the item that became our best friend - the rice cooker.
(s-e)
Through the eight stages of Yoga, the sadhaka develops understanding of her own self. She proceeds step by step from the known - her body - to the unknown. She proceeds from the outer envelope of the body - the skin - to the unknown. From the mind (manas), she goes to the intellect (buddhi) , the will (samkalpa), discriminating consciousness (viveka-khyati or prajna), conscience (sad-asad viveka) and lastly the Self (Atma).
(m-e)
Wow, too true eh? That is what we are doing - trying to connect the body with the mind. I want to aerate my body. How inspiring, thanks Sammy!
(s-t)
Tonight, I luxuriate in opening a curtain-closing bottle of white wine. Get this - I bought honey garlic frozen pc wings yesterday (?!!) in my childish response to the coming of clean health. Let the eve of our journey be toxicly joyful!
(m-t)
You said it sister. tonight i am going to party! I'm bringing wine and cake! I have been so good in the weight watchers department for a month. I need to blow it big time. If we feel like shite tomorrow maybe it will make it easier...(?). I'm also five days late and ready to kill someone..not worried just hugely premenstrual...have fun!
Next Morning, day of cleanse meeting
(m-t)
Mission accomplished. I feel like shit. bring on the detox but first...my last cup of coffeeeee.
(s-t)
same! headache sooo want to clean out and sipping my final coffee with the last of the organic cream...my favorite...
(m-t)
Here we go, meet up before we start?
(s-t)
Yes! nice hot tea at Dufflets? Queen just west of Tecumseth south side, 130?
(m-t)
heading there, see you soon
We meet at Dufflets (unbelievable that I would suggest this place full of delectable sweets, cakes and all things sugary before going into this, but close to Body One). We chat, then meet Marie in a nearby restaurant, take notes ferociously and ask a ton of questions. We're blessed to be the only ones doing the cleanse this particular fall - a partnership made to happen. Our session runs almost 2 hours, very informative and never imagined I'd have so many questions.
I follow up that evening with more notes on pranayama. My intention of sharing this information seemed like a wonderful idea, until juggling life and handling the effects of the cleanse took over and I had to stop. There's that dominant powerful Pitta dosha stirring in me (more on that in learning from Ayurveda, to come).
Cleanse Start - Day One (I will bunch the days together soon, but for now its detailed dialogue for days one two three..)
(s-t)
I am a wee screwy, I just ate roast veg and quinoa so I have to look at notes to see when/if I can take the tincture - organizing the lad with his homework, laundry, lunch etc. Have to get the schedule down to do it all earlier aaahhhhh!!
(m-t)
I had my last take out souvlaki.
The first three days of the cleanse are considered transitional. We begin to focus on food in its natural state. We are asked to think less in terms of recipes when having our meals and more towards individual foods eaten either raw or gently steamed/baked/roasted. It's time to gradually remove what we think are the 'good stuff' (coffee, salt, dairy...).
Next up, buying the item that became our best friend - the rice cooker.
5.12.11
Last minute musings
Prior to knowing anything about or intending to blog (...really wish there was a better word for this...) I wrote Martha in my way, to find a way to "feeeel our way through" this process...
(s-e, m-e) sam martha emails
(s-e)
Hello my dear friend, this commitment we have reluctantly yet determinedly made has sprung some thoughts. I believe it would be significant for ourselves - and perhaps others? - to journal our experience as it is unfolding, a book for writing our thoughts or an email journal?...document thoughts, feelings, intentions, fears, strengths etc...
Focussing on the body, I think, is a good first step in the spiritual process of getting deeper into who we are, what we're doing in our daily lives and where we see ourselves going in this brief life (I hear an old friend now saying - what? you're born, you live, you're dead, enough already!). This touches on the beauty of yoga and all the stages it involves, it can be a supportive journey of friendship and a healing process too. Whaddaya think?
(m-e)
Fantastic! I am not good with paper, even I can't read my own handwriting, but I can type!
(s-e)
Attached is the detailed document that we are to fill in so Marie can create the custom tincture to accompany our boring but body cleaning cleanse!
I hope you're able to take a few minutes each day to put forth positive supportive words to yourself as we get closer to the beginning date..our ability to make fun of ourselves along every stage will make this a special occasion rather than a potentially stressful negative fear mongering freak out!!
I'm spending this week transitioning my food intake...to create dishes with less if no meat, lots of fruits and veg but also cheese and coffee (but less intake). Today I made a most delicious salad of avocados, mangos, tomatoes, herbed goat cheese, olive oil salt and pepper - all probably no no's but I don't care! It's veg, it's fruit and it tasted great! Bland is coming (meditation coming up for me again) but the transition will be easier.
Let's get a dialogue going in whatever format - email, texts, phone calls - heck write a song!! This can be special if we make it such.
I'm reading the Iyengar book [Light On Pranayama] and it's already got me back on the mat. I will do my best to re-aquiant myself with the beginners stage routine.
(m-e)
You are the best! I can do it and I am looking forward to having more control over my life! It's funny cause by doing my weight watchers thing I am totally preparing for this cleanse. I am eating way more fruit and veg - and I mean way more - having an acorn squash for a snack (??) or these amazing kiwi berries, you gotta try them, just saw them at my local....don't know how widely available they are?
I have written and erased so many questions and fears. I'm going to embrace the unknown and stay positive! I've booked myself off as much as I could - I have two three day weeks and the other I've booked two late starts.
Martha is what I like to call "the centre of the universe". She is a hairdresser, in title. This woman, literally refreshes the spirit of any fortunate woman to sit in her chair if only a few times a year. She knows so many people that I know from every aspect of my professional and personal life not by intention. And when you ask other women this, they will most likely agree with this fact.
Next post, night before cleanse and then into it
(s-e, m-e) sam martha emails
(s-e)
Hello my dear friend, this commitment we have reluctantly yet determinedly made has sprung some thoughts. I believe it would be significant for ourselves - and perhaps others? - to journal our experience as it is unfolding, a book for writing our thoughts or an email journal?...document thoughts, feelings, intentions, fears, strengths etc...
Focussing on the body, I think, is a good first step in the spiritual process of getting deeper into who we are, what we're doing in our daily lives and where we see ourselves going in this brief life (I hear an old friend now saying - what? you're born, you live, you're dead, enough already!). This touches on the beauty of yoga and all the stages it involves, it can be a supportive journey of friendship and a healing process too. Whaddaya think?
(m-e)
Fantastic! I am not good with paper, even I can't read my own handwriting, but I can type!
(s-e)
Attached is the detailed document that we are to fill in so Marie can create the custom tincture to accompany our boring but body cleaning cleanse!
I hope you're able to take a few minutes each day to put forth positive supportive words to yourself as we get closer to the beginning date..our ability to make fun of ourselves along every stage will make this a special occasion rather than a potentially stressful negative fear mongering freak out!!
I'm spending this week transitioning my food intake...to create dishes with less if no meat, lots of fruits and veg but also cheese and coffee (but less intake). Today I made a most delicious salad of avocados, mangos, tomatoes, herbed goat cheese, olive oil salt and pepper - all probably no no's but I don't care! It's veg, it's fruit and it tasted great! Bland is coming (meditation coming up for me again) but the transition will be easier.
Let's get a dialogue going in whatever format - email, texts, phone calls - heck write a song!! This can be special if we make it such.
I'm reading the Iyengar book [Light On Pranayama] and it's already got me back on the mat. I will do my best to re-aquiant myself with the beginners stage routine.
(m-e)
You are the best! I can do it and I am looking forward to having more control over my life! It's funny cause by doing my weight watchers thing I am totally preparing for this cleanse. I am eating way more fruit and veg - and I mean way more - having an acorn squash for a snack (??) or these amazing kiwi berries, you gotta try them, just saw them at my local....don't know how widely available they are?
I have written and erased so many questions and fears. I'm going to embrace the unknown and stay positive! I've booked myself off as much as I could - I have two three day weeks and the other I've booked two late starts.
Martha is what I like to call "the centre of the universe". She is a hairdresser, in title. This woman, literally refreshes the spirit of any fortunate woman to sit in her chair if only a few times a year. She knows so many people that I know from every aspect of my professional and personal life not by intention. And when you ask other women this, they will most likely agree with this fact.
Next post, night before cleanse and then into it
2.12.11
Let our chats begin...
The many posts to follow are a direct communication between myself and Martha via texts and emails in the fall months leading up to and during the detoxing cleanse. This first bit leads up to the experience, then moves into the thick of it...I'm leaving it unedited for the most part to keep it short, sweet and honest (as possible!).
*Format: (s-t, m-t) Sam-text/Martha-text (s-e, m-e) Sam-email/Martha-email*
September 30, week following our indulgent cottage weekend
(s-t) I'll sit down this weekend over a cup of tea and reflect on our health plan (I send emoticons of fruit, paper and pencil, sunshine and leaves)...have a wonderful day :)
October 5 through October 17, leading up to the detox cleanse meeting date
Miraculously, a newsletter from my massage therapist's office arrives in my inbox...funny how things materialize when you put it out there...
(s-t) Morning! Excited about a detox Marie is offering at Body One. $150 Getting to Know Your Body. Read all of it! Including "more info on detox program" and "examples of diet".
(m-t) Got it. Can we talk at 1130, you available?
(m-t) ..it is two meetings over three weeks, Sunday Oct 23 and Nov 13
(s-e) Ok yes! Just looked at it again. If you haven't read the info please do read both examples and the food (basically fruit, veg and grains for 3 solid weeks with the herbal concoction she gives us). We can consider this a simple clear 3 week cleanse beginning in a couple weeks and ending mid Nov - perfect I think! I said hard because this girl always has a hard time leading up to any discipline, then it is always amazing when I've finished!
(m-t) [while at work] Oh my god, I just looked at the list of food to eat. I don't know Sam. I am scared! I don't think I can do it. Let's talk.
A week and a half passes as we ponder and discuss further.
(s-e) ....sooo... are we doing this?... I'll register us when I get the two thumbs up from you. Now this is kick ass hard on one level, but it's really only 3 weeks and we can suffer it out together! Please take some time to review and call me!! I can't imagine anyone I trust more than Marie about the body knowledge, I can't imagine doing this with anyone else but you and it's completely aligned to both of our desires to connect with our bodies on a deeper level and will rid shit out of our bodies we're longing to say goodbye to...checking into pranayama, if I can't find a teacher I like, I'll plow through [again] reading the master's book [BKS Iyengar Light On Pranayama] and bring what I learned [from Michael's Tuesday yoga classes and the 2010 July Intensive - see Centre of Gravity under Healers/Educators] and teach us both. Send thoughts xo
Slice from the brochure: "Three weeks to a profound understanding of your body. You are supported all the way through the detox by Marie Graff who has been running the detox program for over 7 years."
October 18, 5 days leading up to cleanse
Martha writes her thoughts down on the subway as she makes her way home from work. We talk with eachother on the phone a few times. Meantime, I have called Marie and asked to please consider us good to go, but if there is a problem with such a late register time to let me know.
(m-e, she sends me her notes) Okay, I am on the subway with my belly full of cheese, a banana and a kashi bar. Really a very balanced and healthy lunch but as of this time next week the only thing that would work is the banana...I am scared but I am going to give in to Sam's incredible positive energy. I also want to try really hard not to be a whiner. This is Sam's journey too and I don't want her to have to pull me along. It is only three weeks. I have tried to clear the decks of any social activity. I am taking a couple of days off and I want to clean house if I can or just lay around alot. I should pick up a new dry brush at Shoppers and load up the bathroom with epsom salts. I am going to grocery shop with Sam and pick up a ton of yummy organic fruits and veggies.
Next post: decisions made, actions taken.
*Format: (s-t, m-t) Sam-text/Martha-text (s-e, m-e) Sam-email/Martha-email*
September 30, week following our indulgent cottage weekend
(s-t) I'll sit down this weekend over a cup of tea and reflect on our health plan (I send emoticons of fruit, paper and pencil, sunshine and leaves)...have a wonderful day :)
October 5 through October 17, leading up to the detox cleanse meeting date
Miraculously, a newsletter from my massage therapist's office arrives in my inbox...funny how things materialize when you put it out there...
(s-t) Morning! Excited about a detox Marie is offering at Body One. $150 Getting to Know Your Body. Read all of it! Including "more info on detox program" and "examples of diet".
(m-t) Got it. Can we talk at 1130, you available?
(m-t) ..it is two meetings over three weeks, Sunday Oct 23 and Nov 13
(s-e) Ok yes! Just looked at it again. If you haven't read the info please do read both examples and the food (basically fruit, veg and grains for 3 solid weeks with the herbal concoction she gives us). We can consider this a simple clear 3 week cleanse beginning in a couple weeks and ending mid Nov - perfect I think! I said hard because this girl always has a hard time leading up to any discipline, then it is always amazing when I've finished!
(m-t) [on the way to work] I printed off the cleanse and I will read it on the subway.
(m-t) [while at work] Oh my god, I just looked at the list of food to eat. I don't know Sam. I am scared! I don't think I can do it. Let's talk.
(s-t) Completely understand! xo we'll chat but if you are dead against it then ok :)
A week and a half passes as we ponder and discuss further.
(s-e) ....sooo... are we doing this?... I'll register us when I get the two thumbs up from you. Now this is kick ass hard on one level, but it's really only 3 weeks and we can suffer it out together! Please take some time to review and call me!! I can't imagine anyone I trust more than Marie about the body knowledge, I can't imagine doing this with anyone else but you and it's completely aligned to both of our desires to connect with our bodies on a deeper level and will rid shit out of our bodies we're longing to say goodbye to...checking into pranayama, if I can't find a teacher I like, I'll plow through [again] reading the master's book [BKS Iyengar Light On Pranayama] and bring what I learned [from Michael's Tuesday yoga classes and the 2010 July Intensive - see Centre of Gravity under Healers/Educators] and teach us both. Send thoughts xo
Slice from the brochure: "Three weeks to a profound understanding of your body. You are supported all the way through the detox by Marie Graff who has been running the detox program for over 7 years."
October 18, 5 days leading up to cleanse
Martha writes her thoughts down on the subway as she makes her way home from work. We talk with eachother on the phone a few times. Meantime, I have called Marie and asked to please consider us good to go, but if there is a problem with such a late register time to let me know.
(m-e, she sends me her notes) Okay, I am on the subway with my belly full of cheese, a banana and a kashi bar. Really a very balanced and healthy lunch but as of this time next week the only thing that would work is the banana...I am scared but I am going to give in to Sam's incredible positive energy. I also want to try really hard not to be a whiner. This is Sam's journey too and I don't want her to have to pull me along. It is only three weeks. I have tried to clear the decks of any social activity. I am taking a couple of days off and I want to clean house if I can or just lay around alot. I should pick up a new dry brush at Shoppers and load up the bathroom with epsom salts. I am going to grocery shop with Sam and pick up a ton of yummy organic fruits and veggies.
Next post: decisions made, actions taken.
28.11.11
Get To The Point Already
In the spirit of accommodating those that want conclusive information now, I'm working on summarizing each path taken, be it the cleanse, ayurveda, yoga, meditation etc.
I've been asked repeatedly to please get to the point, with questions needing answers: "Now that you've done this cleanse Sam, how do you feel? Would you recommend it? What were the pros and the cons?" At the same time, I want to write the stories. How to pull this off effectively is a question of providing good content with clarity, hence design.
I've started this blog, hounded a few friends and family for support and the content is slow to come. I'm working on the design (kinda technically challenged) to have the information come out in a streamlined fashion, so I can separate the facts from the journalling.
Which reminds me of a story...(!) When I bought my first car, it was standard. I didn't know how to drive standard, so I leaned on a friend or two to teach me how to drive it. This is how I learn best.
Please stick with me! I am dedicated to getting this info out for your needs and want very much to tell the stories. I encourage the critiques, the questioning and your candid remarks in emails. Keep them coming!!
I've been asked repeatedly to please get to the point, with questions needing answers: "Now that you've done this cleanse Sam, how do you feel? Would you recommend it? What were the pros and the cons?" At the same time, I want to write the stories. How to pull this off effectively is a question of providing good content with clarity, hence design.
I've started this blog, hounded a few friends and family for support and the content is slow to come. I'm working on the design (kinda technically challenged) to have the information come out in a streamlined fashion, so I can separate the facts from the journalling.
Which reminds me of a story...(!) When I bought my first car, it was standard. I didn't know how to drive standard, so I leaned on a friend or two to teach me how to drive it. This is how I learn best.
Please stick with me! I am dedicated to getting this info out for your needs and want very much to tell the stories. I encourage the critiques, the questioning and your candid remarks in emails. Keep them coming!!
24.11.11
Celebrating Food in a beautiful place (pre detox cleanse)
In Minden Ontario, on Bob Lake, Sam and Martha sneak away for a September weekend escape to the cottage and its all about the food. Martha and I deviously shop separately with care, texting to make sure all the details for each meal are covered.
Freshly baked pain au chocolat, ripe organic berries, fresh roasted coffee…
Cheese trays and chilled roses…
Marinated, grilled lamb and more fine wine…
Listening to good tunes, we discussed (among many other subjects) how we were both feeling out of touch with our bodies. For me, a few years of regular yoga and meditation practice proved to be very helpful to work through phases of depression, random waves of anxiety, relentless stress and various physical ailments from simple muscle tension to recurring respiratory issues. We enjoyed the rest of our beautiful meals, swam in the chilled water and cruised the (finally!) quiet lake…
On the sunny drive home (listening to more good music) we decided to act on a few approaches. I would look into pranayama (breath) classes, Martha was open to a consultation with my Ayurvedic doctor Shanthi (see link under Healers) and to experiment with some regular meditation ‘buddy’ sessions. I was experienced just enough with my daily sitting practice that I could guide her through some brief foundational sits to get the ball rolling. These were all avenues to calming the mind and getting further in touch with the body. We were determined to do something to keep eachother motivated.
To come soon: the dialogue to eachother through texts and emails.
21.11.11
Work In Progress
Hello friends and supporters,
I have had interest expressed via email in the specifics of the cleansing detox and people wanting further information. It is vital that you hit 'Join this site' under Journal Follower to support what I'm doing here. If you do not have gmail or yahoo, please, please click on the 'create a google account' and follow the steps. I have also just added the comments section under each post so please comment about your needs and your thoughts when it feels right.
Much Love,
Sam
I have had interest expressed via email in the specifics of the cleansing detox and people wanting further information. It is vital that you hit 'Join this site' under Journal Follower to support what I'm doing here. If you do not have gmail or yahoo, please, please click on the 'create a google account' and follow the steps. I have also just added the comments section under each post so please comment about your needs and your thoughts when it feels right.
Much Love,
Sam
19.11.11
The Fall Cleansing Detox
Depending on who you ask, three weeks of eating no sugar, caffeine, meat, dairy and alcohol could seem daunting or maybe not such a big deal. For my dear friend Martha and myself, it was like taking the toy out of the baby's hand and watching her wail away for the entire duration. As each day passes from the finish line of last Sunday, I have new insights as to just how powerful this experience was for both of us. Day after day of steaming vegetables, cooking rice, taking the prescribed tincture and downing large glasses of flax soaked water, all at precise times of the day with specific intervals between liquids and solids, I now feel like a wild child left to her own spoiled devices. What does that say about me and my relationship to food? What is the big deal here? I cannot imagine having done that on my own. Codependence got me through the hardest parts. We ranted, screamed, whined, freaked out and complained in texts, emails and phone calls as our bodies were subjected to releasing just the surface of years of tightly held 'things' deeply rooted in the body's tissues. There is much to express about this profound experience. Ahead will be a diary of our dialogue, some pictures of the food we ate and thoughts on how a simple every day thing like food has changed the way I see myself and the world I live in.
17.11.11
Fall: renewal and reflection
Fall is rapidly coming to a close. Fall, the most precious, valuable time to create change. A powerful, beautiful time to take on new challenges with enthusiasm and close chapters with peace of mind.
I experienced my first marriage last year amongst the captivating fall colours of the Gatineau Hills. This fall I moved through my first cleansing detox in and around the seductions of this vibrant, polluted, alive, beloved city of Toronto. I've spent exquisitely peaceful time watching the fall leaves reflected on our Ontario lakes just north of the city and worked tirelessly in many a corner, alleyway, highway and rural location that a production could find to shoot a tv scene, whatever the season.
The biggest challenge throughout these years has been to find a quiet ground within, trying to live a life with meaning, while doggedly working away and being just plain busy living life.
I hope here to share solid information, resources, stories, documentation and ideas on natural ways of enjoying life and healing the exhausted body-mind, so we can thrive with vitality wherever we live, whatever we're doing. I have struggled with balance all of my privileged, joyful life. I will take stock of what I have experienced and learned and express it through words and pictures. We shall see what comes of it.
Ohm Shanthi, Right On
Sam
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